For quite a few days I have been thinking on one particular ritual of the Hindu marriage which is Pori Iduthal or the Laja Homam (the name I came to know after doing a good amount of research in the net. Felt bad for not knowing it in these 20 years of marriage). There are just a very few rituals that involves the brother of the bride in the marriage. One is the Kasi Yatra where in the brother holds the umbrella for the groom. But that is just not a necessarily involved ritual and many a times the groom's friend or brother also holds the umbrella. But the one ritual where the Vadhyar literally auctions the name (ஏலம் போடாத குறை) of the brother or keeps calling பொண்ணோட கூட பொறந்த அண்ணாவையோ தம்பியையோ கூப்பிடுங்கோ after the sapthapathi.
என்ன விஷயம்னா பொரி போடத்தான். தம்பி பொரி எடுத்து கூட பொறந்தவ கைல வெக்கணும். அந்த கை புது மண மகன் கை மேலே இருக்கும். பொரி வெச்சதும் புதுமணத்தம்பதிகள் அதை அக்னியில் இடுவார்கள். பேச்சு வழக்கில் இதுக்கு பொரி இடுதலனும் வைதீக முறைப்படி லாஜ ஹோமம்னும் பெயர்..
That is the Sasthrigal calls the bride's brother to perform the Laja Homam along with the newly weds. The brother keeps puffed rice in the hands of his sister whose hand is on top of the groom. Then after chanting mantras the bride and groom adds the puffed rice to the homam.
Ok, let me now tell you why I have been thinking about this particular homam. The recent marriage which I attended followed all the rituals. Both the bride and groom chanted all the mantras that were asked to be chanted as per the Vadhyar (the priest)'s instructions. After performing the Laja Homam (the bride didnot have a own brother so her uncle's son performed the homam as her brother), the groom's mother gifted him with a shirt and some amount for a ring (thats the custom). But she also added, do not think that your duty ends here, you have to ensure that she (the bride) is always welcomed into your home as the daughter of the house and she should never feel that she do not have a paternal home to go for. Though I do not expect you to do all that seer varisai etc etc, I do expect one thing from you and her other cousins and that is she should feel at home whenever she visits your homes. (The bride have only one sister and all her cousins are either single son or daughter).
That was a very wonderful thought. That too coming from the mother in law. She assuered to take care of the bride as her own daughter but added even though I might care her as my own daughter, there will be times she will want to visit her parent's home, and as her mom and sister live far off, the next immediate relative are her uncles and so if she wishes to visit I will definitely send her and I will definitely want her to feel at home.
The Laja Homam or the Pori Iduthal is perfomed by the brother to assure his sister that even after our parent's time, I will give you my shoulder to lean upon to share all your happiness and sorrows and will do all that was done by our parents.
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